Why did the chicken cross the road?
Andre Ampere: "To keep up with current events."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Alexander Graham Bell: "To get to the nearest phone." 

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Robert Boyle: "She had been under too much pressure at home."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
William J. Broad: "The crux is that the vast majority of the poultry in the universe seems to be missing."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Nicolaus Copernicus: "Despite the evidence of your senses I can show that it is mathematically simpler to describe it as the road passing under the chicken."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
C. J. Doppler: "For its effect on passer-bys. "

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Thomas Edison: "She thought it would be an illuminating experience."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Jean Foucault: "It didnít. The rotation of the earth made it appear to cross."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Buckminister Fuller: "Because we have not yet designed and implemented true, constantly forwardly/backwardly evolving, energy-transforming living machines which will enable us to perform all functions from the informedly turbining hub of a single autonomous in-spiralling/out-radiating network of space-connected information vector transforms. Had the chicken been supplied with my Dymaxion Tensegrity Coop, it would have remained at home, un-tempted by such risky spatial-temporal translations."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Galileo: "To get a better look at the stars."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Karl Gauss: "Because of the magnetic personality of the rooster on the other side."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Werner Heisenberg: "(1) We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast; (2) It was uncertain if it could make it, but wanted to try on general principles; (3) Because the chicken is moving very fast, you can either observe the chicken or you can measure the chicken, but you cannot do both; (4) We could tell you how it crossed the road, but we couldn't tell you where."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Isaac Newton: "(1) Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road; (2) It was pushed on the road; (3) It was pushed on the road by another chicken, which went away from the road; (4) It was attracted to a chicken on the other side of the road."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ohm: "There was more resistance on this side of the road."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Wolfgang Pauli: "There already was a chicken on this side of the road."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Alessandro Volta: "There was a potential difference in her future on the other side."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Plato: "For the greater good."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Aristotle: "It is the nature of chickens to cross roads."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Karl Marx: "It was a historical inevitability."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Timothy Leary: "Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Saddam Hussein: "This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ronald Reagan: "I forget."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Captain James T. Kirk: "To boldly go where no chicken has gone before."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Hippocrates: "Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Andersen Consulting: "Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting ,in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Louis Farrakhan: "The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken `crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Martin Luther King, Jr.: "I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Moses: "And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road.'' And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fox Mulder: "You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?"

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Richard M. Nixon: "The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Machiavelli: "The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Jerry Seinfeld: "Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Freud: "The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Bill Gates: "Our soon-to-be-released Chicken ''2012' will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your bank account."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Oliver Stone: "The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?'' Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the sametime, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?''"

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Darwin: "Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Einstein: "Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Buddha: "Asking this question denies your own chicken nature."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ralph Waldo Emerson: "The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ernest Hemingway: "To die. In the rain."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Michael Schumacher: "It was an instinctive manoeuver, the chicken obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross."

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Colonel Sanders: "Tarnation, I missed one?"

Ad nauseum